Dear Snow –
I am writing to you today, December 26, 2008, to respectfully request that you depart from Seattle.
I’ll admit, you have been pretty, and with the duration of your stay, a novelty. But you have caused so much difficulty, due to our city’s unpreparedness for this type of winter siege, that I think it’s really time for you to go.
Was it not enough that you caused the bus system to become incapacitated and the roads to be covered with ice, therefore preventing people from getting to work or to see family (we missed Christmas with my folks due to you)? How about all the animals that are having trouble finding food, not to mention the homeless people who are freezing out there and waiting for normal winter temperatures to return?
I know, it’s winter. But winter in Seattle usually involves just a light dusting of snow now and again, a few dips below freezing, and otherwise just gray skies and rain. If I loved you, oh snow, I would have become a skiier, or moved to Buffalo. But I don’t. So…
Please, please, please won’t you go away? This is my fifth straight day of stir-crazy house-boundedness! I am so sick of you! Not to mention worried about my poor frozen plants.
I’m begging you, snow, just go. And don’t leave a bunch of flooding in your wake, okay? Because that would just be more than too much.
Thank you very much for your consideration, and I hope you enjoy the rest of your winter up in the mountains where you belong,